Black Comedy… Black Comedy… The words instantaneously bring to mind the production that has recently come to pass, and all the memories, both good and bad. Well, where else to start writing my reflections but from where this all began, so many months ago…
Black Comedy
I can’t even remember when we first read the script, though I vaguely recall that we were doing a read-through in the PC room, I was there, so was Reuben, Jordan, Joshua Cao and if I can remember, Andrew Wang. I remember reading through Brindsley’s lines for the first time ever in the uncensored version of the script, and saying to myself, “wow whoever plays this Brindsley character is one hell of a lucky guy.”
How wrong I was.
Well…maybe I wasn’t that wrong after all. While reading through the script that day, thinking to myself how cool it would be if I could get the chance to play that character, to have so much fun onstage, and I also recall thinking how unlikely that would be, that there were so many other potential candidates for the role out there. Well, then we all went home and eventually Black Comedy got pushed out of my mind. Then…several months later, Reuben comes to me and tells me, “hey we’re going to do black comedy, you should audition for the play.” And I reply something along the lines of “but isn’t it a year 6 production? Won’t all the year 6s get priority to the roles?” That was in October.
A little side-note, Black Comedy would be my ninth production be it major or minor, acting or stage crew, in the ACS Drama Club since stepping through those unfamiliar school doors for the first time in my life. It would be the seventh acting role I have acquired. And evidently, the most challenging ever. I’ve done a policeman, a disgruntled pig who builds houses, a gay bird, and even a deranged Pastor before, but never had I been faced with the challenge of such a deep character, such a three-dimensional and well-developed persona which would require me to push myself further than ever before, to really become one with the role, to merge the lines separating reality and fantasy, to blur the differences between Asher Jon Tan, student of Anglo-Chinese School Independent and Brindsley Miller, starving sculptor confused and on a rebound .
Then, the auditions.
November 2006, I still recall that frightful day when I walked into the Dance Studio, facing the panel of directors, Reuben, Mel, and Mei Cen. Andrew was there too, auditioning for the role of Harold. I distinctly recall going for the auditions late, in fact, just as they were ending. I had prayed fervently during the nights leading up to production, that God willing, I’d get the role. The nervousness I had felt during the auditions itself was immense and uncontrollable. I remember even leaving that audition room thinking, “damn I messed this one up badly.” I went home and prayed some more, and lo and behold, a few days after that it was announced that I had gotten the role Brindsley, I had become that very same lucky guy I was envying several months before. At that point, I almost couldn’t believe the good fortune that God had given me. In some way I was even thankful that certain more prominent actors hadn’t auditioned for the role of Brindsley; that God had finally given me a chance to act as a major character in a play. I was also thankful for the fact that Andrew had also gotten through the auditions, that I wouldn’t be the only year 5 in the play, that I wouldn’t feel so outcasted from the rest. He had blessed me beyond my wildest dreams, giving me the opportunity that I had been hoping so long for.
A few days later, the rehearsal schedule was sent to the cast. When I first glimpsed at it, the first thought that popped into my mind was, “why are there so few rehearsals, that can’t be right…I should go talk to Reuben.” Nonetheless we still had two weeks of rehearsals in November and one mega-long one in December. I still remember that first rehearsal, going through the first scene for the first time, holding the script in one hand and miming a drink in the other. Jumping from one side of the dance studio to the other when the directors asked us to take the scene from a few lines before. I was experiencing things that I had never experienced in any other production I had ever been in. I remember the immensely fun warm-ups that Mr. Quek had done with us, all the stretching, the voice exercises, the reminders to take the lines more slowly, the nagging comments that the phone call was too fast. I remember going home after rehearsals at night, and thinking to myself, “Oh God I’m the lead, whoah… I’m the LEAD!!! Oh my gosh I’m the fricking lead!!!” I remember that excitement building up in me whenever I imagined how it would be like on the night itself, imagining myself taking that curtain call. Even now, that it’s over, that thrill still comes to me whenever I think about it. That familiar rush of adrenalin at the very thought of what the production night would be like.
Now excuse me for jumping a little to after school started. With the onset of IB life, I can recall waiting for school to end just so I could go for rehearsals and let myself go, and really sink into my element. All the various individual rehearsals were mildly disturbing, and that being said, I quite enjoyed them anyway. I remember protesting in horror when he proposed that I do a stage kiss with Clea, cringing in fear at what Harold would have to do during the opening of scene 3. I even remember expressing my immense worry to Mel, saying how if I didn’t get back into Drama through the drama auditions, what would happen to me? Would I still keep my role or would it be given to someone else more deserving than I was? Furthermore, the hammer fell and unfortunately Andrew was evicted from the play and the role of Harold. Suddenly I found myself all alone in a cast filled with people who were all a year older than I was, people who I found incredibly difficult to relate to, who all were in their own groups and cliques while I was left standing somewhat alone. Then Reuben came in and filled the role beautifully, he painted and colored the role of Harold in ways Andrew could only have dreamed of.
I must admit though, there were times when I felt immense frustration at being the sole year 5 in the play, finding the distance between me and the rest of the cast so huge that I was disheartened at times. At times being singled out by the rest. But looking back now, I realize that it was all God’s plan of making me much stronger, as both an actor and a person. I learnt to be more independent, to rely more on my own God-given strength as opposed to constantly having to fall back on others. Eventually the distance between me and the rest of the cast began to fall away; after all…working closely together for five continuous months is more than enough to bring any group of people, however different, together. I guess we all actually formed a bond between us that only working on the set of Black Comedy could have produced.
Now let me fast-forward even more. It was the week before the production. Mr. Quek even said to us,” Never before have I seen such a group of actors behave in such a way. Normally I’d see some special bond developing between everyone. Instead all I see is that you guys are behaving professionally, to the extent where you literally go your separate ways after this is all over. But it can’t be helped; bonding between individuals can’t be forced.” It was during that period that morale of the cast was at its lowest, and I think we all felt the burden of being onstage. The nagging worry that we might not be able to pull it off, that we might indeed fail, and ultimately permanently disfigure the name of the Anglo-Chinese Drama Club, which had already endured much trials and tribulations through previous productions which were not entirely successful, such as The Birds. Following that production was Haven, the school musical, which indeed left the Drama Club unable to redeem itself that year. We were the maiden production of the newly-formed Anglo-Chinese Independent Stage, and much relied on us to bring up the name of the club. I remember going home during those few days, walking the long trek home, as some of you who have been to my house before are acquainted with. Well, I remember walking home, and I really had time to gather my thoughts, to think to myself about the immensity of the task before us. I remember crying out to God, “God, I know that I will never be able to pull through this myself, so I just ask you now, give me strength, give me courage in the final days leading up to this production. I leave this all to you, Amen.” And indeed God has blessed and looked after me in a way I can’t begin to explain. I would never have been able to survive this with my sanity intact without God’s reassuring touch. It’s ironic isn’t it? I just said that I learnt how to rely on my own strength, yet here I am saying that I needed to rely on God. Just another mystery God had in store for me I suppose.
Finally, I will come to the very night itself. But before that let me go into brief about the night before, the night the cast finally began to come together. I remember leaving rehearsals together with morale almost completely restored, thinking, “Hey, maybe we can do this after all, we might just be able to pull this off.” I distinctly recall Reuben suggesting that we all go to the Esplanade for dinner. And jokingly, I said, “hell yeah, call time is at 2 tomorrow, so I don’t see why not.” How stupid I was to even suggest that. So, much to my dismay, we indeed ended up going to City Hall and dining at Yoshinoya. I remember commenting to someone, “I can’t believe we actually came all the way here just to have dinner at Yoshinoya. I mean, if it was somewhere which can only be found around this area then I wouldn’t feel so bad, but it’s fricking Yoshinoya, which is like…everywhere.” While secretly I had not a single regret about going all the way there and spending more time in fellowship with the cast members. I could literally feel the distance and the invisible wall between the cast members begin to melt and get torn away. It was a real uplifting experience and I began to feel that the only outcome for this would be success. And for once in a long time, I was actually right.
Well then, the sixteenth of March 2007, a day which hopefully will be remembered for years to come. I remember coming to school slightly earlier for the purpose of having lunch by myself and spending some quiet time alone, reflecting upon the show later on. Instead I ran into the OM team, Johannes, Paul, Jin, Jonathan Low, Joshua Cao and Jeremy. So I sat and ate with them, and told them that I wasn’t sure how the audience would take the play later on but hopefully it would turn out fairly decent. I recall one of them telling me, “You don’t sound so confident of the play.” I decided not to reply and instead left it to them to judge the performance. On that day itself we changed the vase breaking scene; we added lines into the play and tweaked it here and there. And I was thinking to myself that I had to remember that new blocking, that I couldn’t afford the slightest screw-up. Well then, on to just before the show. I remember Mdm. Fanny Tan calling us all into the dressing room, and praying for the play. After which we had a cast prayer, one which I prayed for. I fondly recall starting the prayer with, “Oh God, let this evening go alright, let the audience enjoy the play…” that brought smiles to a slight laugh to those who were listening and praying at that time. I remember saying “God we leave this in your hands, whatever happens, it’s all part of your divine plan for us.”
Now, for the show itself. I remember walking onto that stage, catching a glimpse of the audience assembled, and my heart lifted at the sight of the bottom gallery being almost completely filled. God had indeed granted me what I had asked for. I remember walking onto that stage, with almost no nervousness filling me. The feeling was so different from The Birds, in which my stomach more resembled a bag filled with butterflies which just wouldn’t settle, or Nuts and Bolts, which was more of “gosh this is kind of boring, let’s get this over with” the moment I stepped onto that stage, I felt truly at home with myself. The audience even laughed at the not-so-funny parts, such as the “thousands” joke, which I must admit I found rather silly. The moment I heard that chuckle from the audience, I knew. I knew. I knew that this would be a night to remember, that we were going to break the tradition of slapstick comedy in ACS(I), that we were finally no longer going to conform to the norm that has permeated our drama club for so long, and that the people who were sensible enough to buy tickets would get their moneys worth and then some. I had changed the line concerning the vase on the night itself about the “Ong Dynasty” to “Drong dynasty”. And I must admit, that drew raucous applause and cheers from the audience, not to mention plenty of clapping. I remember Joshua Cao telling me afterwards that that was indeed the line of the play. But before I diverge too much, after taking the huge risk of saying that line, I remember watching Mdm. Fanny Tan’s face intently to see her reaction to the line. And all I could see was a slight frown. That got me quite shaken up, especially considering the last experience I had with her in a play, the production Nuts and Bolts, in which she had ordered for the closing of the curtains. For a few tense moments following that line I was plagued with worry that history would repeat itself. Then suddenly, I caught Mdm. Fanny Tan smiling again, and I thought to myself, “Phew the danger passed.” The last fifteen minutes of the play was sheer magic, with emotions running so high as I felt myself finally connect with my character, and Brindsley had indeed become a part of me. I had indeed been experiencing difficulty channeling the huge emotions Brindsley was supposed to feel during those last fifteen minutes, but like I said, it was sheer magic. The play ended with a crescendo of hysteria and chaos that truly left the audience trembling in their seats. That curtain call was in every way that I had imagined, and more. The euphoria I felt at that point in time was incomparable by anything else I had felt before. WE HAD DONE IT. WE HAD FINALLY CEMENTED THE NAME OF THE ACSIS, ERASING ALL DOUBTS SURROUNDING THE DUBIOUS REPUTATION OF THE CLUB AND BRINGING THE CLUB BACK TO ITS FORMER GLORY IN THE DAYS OF BOOT POLISH. The satisfaction I felt after that was too great to be put into words.
Well, in the few days after that, the post-production blues sank in almost immediately, as I was hit hard by the fact that there were no more rehearsals, no more runs. I would never ever recite those lines onstage again, Brindsley was finally going to be laid to rest, along with the rest of Black Comedy. And I must say I was rather sad that I wouldn’t ever take on the Brindsley persona ever again, after all he was quite a cool character to play.
Moving on, my post-production blues were interrupted by the offer from Mei Cen to take the leading role in her production, Come here nobody knows. I was a little hesitant since I wanted to properly feel the sadness of post-production and there wasn’t much time to adapt into the character, with the one-and-a-half weeks that I had. But since nobody was able to take the role, with Johannes being busy with OM, Butler busy with Council and the year 6s busy with their EE, I took up the challenge of the role and somehow, through God’s never-ending grace, managed to pull through it in one piece. I guess what I’m trying to say through all this is that God has really blessed me in ways I can’t express in words, He has really saved me so many times over the past few weeks. Right now I shudder to think what would have become of me if I had not been granted the role of Brindsley in Black Comedy, I would have instead sunken into the normalcy of life, I wouldn’t have developed so much as an actor and I may not have even re-auditioned to get back into Drama. Indeed God is so good, and I no amount of praise or thanks would ever sum up how much He has given to me. And now that everything is over, that it has all finally ended, I won’t be doing any more productions for at least another three months, I can’t think how I will survive with just the regular workshop sessions every Wednesday. This experience has made me really get more attached to the stage, to drama, and I doubt I will ever be able to shake that attachment. Drama really changes people, God really changes people, I can tell you that.
Now, on to thanking people. First and foremost, thank you Mr. Quek and Mr. Connor, for your commitment and dedication to this production. Of all of us, you gave the most and probably got the least. And yet both of you did this uncomplainingly, without a single regret (hopefully). Secondly, thank you Melissa Yeo and Sun Mei Cen for being our wonderful student directors. Both of you made the effort to come down for every single rehearsal when like Mr. Quek and Mr. Connor, you got nothing out of it, except maybe CAS hours. Your patience and tolerance to my quirky habits and oddness really never ceases to amaze me. Next, I would like to really commend and thank the cast of Black Comedy for making the show a beautiful success. It was truly a great honor for me to work alongside all of you, and though our paths onstage may never ever cross again, I just want you to know that I could never dream of acting alongside anyone else besides the fantastic and dynamic seven of you. Furthermore, I’d like to thank the costumes people, Charleen and Wai Zaw, for dealing with my never-ending complaints about the costume. For insisting I take the suspenders despite my vehement protests, for in the end I grew to love those suspenders, can I please take them home? Also, thanks must go to the lights and sound people, for staying back all those long hours to adjust the lights and really enlighten all of us, not to mention the wonderful sound cues and the perfect mic settings for everyone. Next, kudos to the set con and stage people, you guys are really the hard-working behind-the-scenes people. I remember being in your position in the earlier years of my drama life, and I can empathize with how boring it must feel to just stone around all day long without doing anything expect building the set and moving the stuff around. Indeed you guys are the real unsung heroes of this play, and I remember a drama senior telling me so many years ago,” never forget, stage is always superior to acting.” I still believe that. If I left out anyone in this thanking speech, please forgive me and know that I sincerely would like to express my deepest thanks for helping make this production a fantastic success. And Finally, I would like to Thank God, for without Him none of this would have been possible, He really was my anchor through the tough times of this production. He was there with me crying when I felt down, and He was there rejoicing with me when I was glad. Thank you Lord for really allowing us to pull through and make this play a magnificent success.
I just realized the date of this reflection is the first of April, but I can assure you that this is no joke, though there was an extremely satisfactory prank played on Reuben.
So as I conclude this EE-length reflection. Well, I guess its back to the real world, back to the mundane activities of real life, back to the EE proposals, mock IOC scripts, Bio practicals, Econs IA drafts and time to get my life back. Though I must say I can’t remember what my life was like before this, indeed Drama has consumed so much of me that I can’t think of anything else. Back to the ‘your mother’ jokes and jumping around the level dressed up in a black cape and mask.
Back to the reality, time to get out of fantasy.
Thank you, “drong dynasty”
Thank you, ACSIS
Thank God. Thank God!